i just thought the pic was cute - no, i don't have green hair! ha ha.

i've been learning alot lately through joel osteen and trying to let God use it in my life. one thing he taught about is how God does not let things happens to me but for me. he says that if we allow Him to, God plants seeds from events that happen in our life that we may think is a negative or too hard to overcome, God plants these as seeds to show His power and plan in our lives if we let Him.

it's hard but i'm trying. i guess cuz i cared alot for RMan and miss him alot. dumb as that may sound to someone on the outside. he just quit talking to me and as far as i knew, we had a good relationship. i always thought when you had a disagreement in a relationship, you didn't end the relationship - you talked it out. apparently he just walks away. so...i've given that to God and I know He has a plan and a purpose.

He knows my heart hurts and some days are better than others. I know my heart will heal and I will be better and stronger for it. And God has a different plan for me than I thought and that's okay, too. But the down days are really hard to get through, you know?

It was an awesome football weekend. Alabama won, Auburn lost, Tennessee (spit) lost...ah, now that's a good weekend. I spent it alone but that's okay. I baked some boneless ribs -so tender the meat falls off, no knife needed, thank ewe.

I still haven't decided to date anyone else but eventually I will. My birthday is Tuesday and this year, honestly, I don't care. RMan and I had plans to make it a special day and I guess that's what's pulling me down. But each day is a gift from God as Joel Osteen says - don't let any person steal the joy that God gives us as one of his precious gifts. So, I'll lift up praises and thanksgiving and eventually my heart will stop hurting.

I have Stephen this weekend. He just turned 15. I bought him a new skateboard for his birthday and this w/end we go back to get the new wheels and something they mount on. Kids!

Ever the detective (I do have a C.J. degree!) I have gotten bits of pieces of RMan and the dumping incident. I don't have the whole picture 'cuz he won't talk to me.

Basically, he was upset because my son's family birthday party was at the ex's house and all my family was going to be there. He had met my family, decided they didn't want me with him (don't know why, nobody said that to me) and then became really mad when I said he had to go with me. That's when he just quit talking to me - no calls, no texts, won't take my calls. He talks big but in reality, he's just an immature, selfish coward if you ask me. But what do I know? I was dumb enough to date him.

I've been to things with him with his ex there - listened to countless stories of "she wants me back," "Bunny wants me," "So and so's mom wants me" from him...but I don't think he has healed from his divorce. Honestly, I think he's so angry with his ex because he still loves her. He kept telling me - she texts me alot, she calls me about the kids - and I didn't think twice about it. But actually, I think he still loves her.

I do better now. I can't look at pics of him - dumb as that may sound, because they make me cry. My heart still hurts and is still said but I just keep praying for God to heal it. I'm not strong enough to heal it myself so I sure hope He does. I still stare off into space cuz I'm depressed but it will pass. One foot in front of the other and one day at a time. That's the best I can do right now but it's better than I could do last week. So...

I won't lie - it's been a long, long week. RMan's neice contacted me and the family is most unhappy with him. His own daughter is confused and dang! Even the ex-wife said she was disappointed in him. So am I. My heart hasn't hurt like this in a long, long time.

I tried going out on a date this past Wednesday but it was too soon. The guy had this sense of humor I don't really like. For example, instead of saying, "when would you like to go out again?" he says, "when are you going to do me again?" I looked at him and said, "excuse me?" and then he says, "oh, I dropped some words. I mean when are you going to do dinner with me again?" I am thinking, "um, NEVER" but I just put him off. Honestly, I know I should but I just don't want to date anyone right now.

It takes time for a heart to heal and mine still hurts. I had my weekend pity party last weekend. Now I just have to deal with the sadness and once I can move past that, I can date again. I just still miss him very much.

Bobby Allison once said...

After losing his son, Clifford, in August 1992 and his other son, Davey, in July 1993, Bobby Allison once said, "You will drive yourself crazy asking God "why?" You can only accept it and move on." Well, I'm in that "why?" mode, even though I know it does no good to ask.

>Why did the guy I was dating dump me? I don't know. 4 months down the drain. I can only guess he wasn't happy nor was he man enough to talk to me about it. I'll be honest - if you hurt my feelings or make me mad, I tell you. I'm not ugly about it, I don't yell, I don't cuss, I just try to explain that it hurts my feelings. I guess he doesn't like that in a woman. I'm not gonna change. Hell, I'm too old to change but you know what? I expect the same from a person I'm in a relationship with. To just walk away makes a person look like a coward. To just stop talking to someone means you feel guilty about something you've done. Either way - it ain't right.

>Why does my family favor my ex over me? No, you read it right. "MY" family. They've been saying it's because of my son but I've noticed in the last year that they only do things to help Stephen when the EX has him. Never when I do. School clothes shopping? When the ex has him. Birthday party? When the ex says so. Let me back up and say that we have joint custody but the ex is the primary. That's cuz he had been socking away money behind my back for years and had thousands of dollars in the bank, waited till I was working part-time and threw me out. I was broke and "my" family wouldn't help me get to Court. Nothing I hate more than two-faced people, kin or not, unless it's being dumped.

>Why did I want to be "grown up" when I was little and now that I am - it sucks. Okay, my daddy died when I was 9 but he had planned well financially and my mother never ever had to work. She lived 22 years after his death and was well-taken care of the whole time. She didn't have it easy - she battled breast cancer twice and bone cancer before she died. But she never gave up until the cancer had her bed-ridden and in so much pain, she couldn't move. She was the meanest white woman alive when she was here, she never hugged me or said "I love you" like my daddy always did. I miss her more than I can tell you.

>Why am I sensitive? I am - I wear my heart on my sleeve and it gets smacked around and stomped on more than I can tell you. But I like that I am a caring person that tries to help others - even if it's cleaning out your neices' pool cuz you won't do it or teaching adults how to read (yeah, I do that) - and even though I end up getting hurt, I don't think I want to change that part about me.

>Why aren't there aren't enough caring, real people in the world? There are plenty of two-faced people and people who dump you without even discussing things - oh wait, I've already pointed that out. See, that's the stubborn part of me talking now. Yeah, I'm stubborn. Hard-headed, too. I'm also funny, loving, sensitive, giving...what? My faults? Hey, I gave you two - stubborn and hard-headed (I know, they're the same). That's enough!! See, told you I was stubborn!!

I guess

I've been dumped by RMan. He started acting weird last weekend and all this week and now he won't even answer when I call. I have no idea why except he was upset that my son's birthday party is tomorrow at the ex's and the family is going and I'm going. I asked him to go with me and he said he'd go but reluctantly because my family wants me back with the ex. He must have chewed me out three or four times about that since he met my family. The thing is, who cares what THEY want? I am not going back to that life.

I won't lie to you and tell you it doesn't hurt. It does, very much. I am doing my best to remember God always knows what is best but this is difficult to work through. It is for the best - he called me chunky and was always on me to lose weight (I wear a size 14; it's not like I'm an XXXL or something). So I do need someone more positive in my life who can accept me as I am. I just right now don't feel like there is anyone out there that can. Say a little prayer for me - it's gonna be a long weekend....

Wow

Is it September 5th already?! I am counting down the days until the 23rd when I turn 4(mumble)... I can remember turning 21 (back in the day) and thinking to myself, "Well, it's alllll over. I'm old." Gosh, if only I knew...


These are my two bosses - EBP on the left and JRL on the right. (It's an attorney thing to go by your initials.) With JRL, we are all just happy that he showed UP for his picture on time and dressed appropriately. He's a bit of a rebel....but awesome to work with. EBP is just a good ole country boy...smarter than you can ever imagine, too. Aw shucks, ma'am....you hear that alot with him:) I should add, we are happy also that JRL is sober in his picture...dude likes to par-tay!! He's a doll, though.

Nothi' But Rain

Every week at work I post a different "funny" on my office wall by my computer. This week will be Maxine!! This is SO me in the morning time. One of my bosses is a morning person - he comes and talks to me in the morning. He gives me work - in the morning. He says hello and how are you - in the morning. I want to shoot him - in the morning!

These are some friends of my son. I have no clue who they are - not because I am a disinterested mother but getting me to remember someone's name is like winning the argument of which came first - the chicken or the egg. It's a no-win situation. But it's kids being kids and I thought it'd be fun to post it.





Me at work. Yeah, `you should never leave me without work to do. I find all sorts of silly things to do. This day I pulled out my camera phone and decided to take a picture of myself. The phone survived (always a good thing). Friends have asked if I just have the right arm - of course, I do have a left arm. It was holding the camera phone. Can you imagine a one-armed legal secretary? I suppose though if a one-armed paper hanger can make it work....don't look too close. I turn 47 next month!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegads!

Confuser..Computer..

I tell ya what - I can type at the speed of light, file pleadings, set depositions, handle my corner of the legal world but God knows I cannot figure a computer out to save my soul. For some reason, IE has decided it and CyberDefender will NOT play nice. Now, Firefox and CyberDefender can get along - but, of course, not Internet Explorer. It has taken me the last few weeks to figure out how to import bookmarks from IE to Firefox so I can at least post!! Please, can't we all just get along? ha ha.

The infamous RMan. We all call him that cuz we met when I needed someone to put a radiator in my former vehicle. Someone said, "you need to talk to" and there ya have it. He still lives in the country and I was born and raised in the city and so there are some differences in what I think and what he thinks when it comes to what you do and don't do when dating someone. One big emotional issue is whether he's gonna take the walls down he's built up from being hurt from his own divorce - she left him after 24 years for someone else - that occurred 2 years ago. My arms get awfully tired sometimes of trying to get over those walls. Then other days I can see where they are coming down some. I don't know. I do know the God we serve, that knows when a sparrow falls from the Earth, knows the number of hairs on our heads - and sits on His throne in all His glory - also will guide and direct my pathway with His word as my lantern. So, even though I worry I really shouldn't. God has a plan; I just need to make sure I follow it.

And remember the infamous Bunny?! Yup - this is her. She has been telling everyone she "wants" RMan and wants to be his girlfriend. Her MySpace page is full of songs like - "My Heart Can't Tell Me No" (Rod Stewart); "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You" (ditto) and other songs like that. This woman is 3 years YOUNGER than I am!! RMan says he considers her a friend and so far, friends and family back him up. I have already explained to him if he plans to date someone else, not trying to be rude, but she dang sure better be prettier than I am cuz, you know, I have an "image". He rolled his eyes and muttered, "I AIN'T gonna date Bunny - EVER"and I think I heard the words "high maintenance" in there....

Whew

Well, the meeting wasn't about Stephen. Thank goodness. It did give me a big chuckle though. My car had broken down yet again...I've stopped counting. I was driving my sister's Ford Expedition - ah, must be nice to have one of those. That baby is loaded with ALL the extras, but I digress. Anywho, seems the church committee thought I had someone living with me. THAT'S why they had the lady member call.

I found this funny because...I mean, come on. If I was dating someone with a Ford Expedition loaded with every luxury item Ford could think of....would we really be staying in a rented home in a small town...I have no pool; I have no hot tub; I just have a simple house. I don't know. The irony made me laugh so hard!!

RMan is still around. Slowly I am figuring out he isn't much for verbally saying he cares but is actually kind of shy so he shows folks by the things he does that he cares. Which makes Bunny come to mind - Bunny is this waitress at a local Omelette Shoppe that, let's just say, "likes" RMan. RMan wants to be just friends with her. Fine and dandy, I say. EXCEPT - every few minutes she is texting him or emailing him or calling on his phone. Finally, this past Saturday I just looked up and said, "You know. Bunny is NOT the best of topics with me."

Now, I did NOT say - don't talk to her, don't answer her texts, don't be her friend. I just simply said what I said. RMan says, "There's nothing to talk about" and guess what? Text, text, text from Bunny. I didn't say a word. I just looked over at him. He didn't move. Didn't answer the text, didn't answer the call. NOW that's what I'm talking about. Showing some respect for the person you are dating....see, only 9 of his knuckles are dragging the ground now! (Just kidding, just kidding. He walks upright pretty well for a male!) And I am happy because we have reached an agreement about Bunny.

Well

RMan says I am a bit...um, high maintenance. I don't think I am but maybe I am. I am spoiled most of the time - not alot, just used to certain things being certain ways. Having doors opened for me, getting a compliment here and there, not spoiled with "things" but I guess spoiled with attention, maybe? I am working on it!

I don't understand yet what makes him tick. I really don't. Most folks I can analyze pretty well; I have a strong gift of discernment. But with RMan, I just don't know. Maybe I am too close to the situation? We are still dating. We go out on the weekend, usually a Saturday. I've met his children. I've met some of his family, here and there. Didn't care for the best friend and his wife too much but RMan doesn't hang with them very often so they are tolerable.

I am waiting now for the landlord to come down. I made the mistake of renting a great home but from a small, local Baptist church who wants to run my life for me. They are driving me insane. I HAVE a church. I am worried though because it is such a small, southern town and my son recently broke up with one of the girls at the church (actually, her mom and I made them break up, they were getting too "close") and I am concerned that is going to be an issue and I'll be told to move out. Yeah - that kind of stuff still happens in small towns, believe it or not. I am waiting now for the landlord to come. She had called earlier but I was eating supper and I can't reach her on the phone so I am sitting here worried.

One of my favorite pics. Can you believe I took it with my camera phone?!! It's from the deck of my (sick) sister's lake place. I was tired of sitting inside watching hour after hour of tv. There really isn't much to do up there if you don't ride a boat of some sort (which I don't cuz they stay out for HOURS and I am not into that)and any time we tried to talk, Dee would have us "turn the tv up louder." It was a beautiful day and yet one of the most boring days I've ever had. But I did get a pretty picture as I sat outside on the deck.


This cute fellow is Ozzie. He is my son's new pup. Ozzie has some Snauchser (however you spell it) and a little Husky in him. Trust me, he acts like an Ozzie but he looks like a Stewart. SDS went bonkers when I said name him Stewart (I have NO idea why) so now we have a poopy named Ozzie!

This is my nephew, the cop, in his U-G-L-Y Auburn University shirt. He's an Auburn grad (following the steps of my dad and after my nephew, my neice went there. They have all walked away from the light of Alabama - ROLL TIDE!). He insists on wearing ugly orange shirts, just like my buddy Shawn. That's okay, we have a REAL coach now and all Auburn fans are looking over their shoulders! Hee hee.

I told RMan today I was tired of being on the bottom of the list. I told him I doubt I am even on his list. Last Sat we were supposed to go out. He TEXTED me to tell me he was working (he was, but still) he TEXTED me. I was most unhappy. This weekend, of course, now it's something with the motorcycle. His son crashed and broke the drive belt. You know what? That was Wed night. They all stayed at the Omelet Shoppe until 12 a.m. chatting Wed night but he does NOT have time for me on a Saturday?

I told him to come get his puppy (Ozzie's sister is supposed to be his) and just have a good weekend without me. I'm through. I officially give up. I'll be the old lady that dies with her dog by her side..hee hee. At least Ozzie loves me?! And Ozzie does know how to give moose kisses! (those are licks, by the way, not real kisses!)

I'm bummed

my saying for this week. Now, I know my source of joy is my relationship with Christ but we're all human and we all get down. I have had the toughest week of my life at work. I actually had to sit down and decide if I was going to go to worktoday.

The 2nd in command's sec is an overwhelmed redneck bitch who cannot do her job. She moved down from Tennessee claiming to be a legal goddess but she doesn't know jack. Yesterday, my boss sent me over to ask her a very simple question and she jumped down my throat and cussed me out. I told her, very calmly, well, let's get my boss on the phone and you can tell him what you just said to me. Only, as freaking always, he is on the phone. More cussing from her and more chewing out. I finally laughed in her face and said "girl - you better find you another job cuz you can't handle the one you've got." she dog cussed me some more. i start to walk off but i turn around, look at her and said in my most meanest voice "and don't you EVER talk to me again like you just did. Your ass can't handle your job and that's not MY fault."

Well - she sent an email to her boss and demanded a meeting with him for today (the day after). He's busy, doesn't want to be bothered and didn't respond to her email. She sent it before she left yesterday and just assumed he had rushed to read it. Well, he hadn't.

This morning she comes in all dolled up and fashionably late - trying to trick him into thinking she has a job interview. She even tells the other staff that is what she's doing. Well, he finally reads her email at lunch, says nothing to her or acknowledges it and goes about his work. He does tell my boss he is m-a-d and doesn't even want to speak to her right now.

She's giving him until Monday and on Monday she's going to DEMAND he make her happy (sorry, just typing that makes me laugh until I cry. DEMAND from a seasoned attorney who is 2nd on the letterhead. Well, good luck with THAT.) Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

When my boss came in this morning, I tell him (instead of hiding behind an email) that we need to talk. I tell him exactly what she said yesterday and exactly what I said back and why I said it. He tells me not to worry about it. See, I know he and the 2nd cheese will talk about this either on Friday or Monday. My boss deserves more respect than she showed on Wednesday (she had a few choice names for him) and my boss also knows - I man up. I mean what I say and I say what I mean.

She can NOT do that job. She is a psycho bitch. (okay, i just said that here - not at work.) It's time for her to move on. Pray hard - we have a good firm and we don't need Satan in our midst. It's hard enough having attorneys (God knows alot have sold their souls but my 2 haven't).

THAT was just Wednesday...tomorrow we'll cover Tuesday.

So I'm working this week on stopping to smell the roses. I don't do too well with it - I am type A from the word "go". I get frustrated easily because there is so much stress in my life with family illnesses and then...

RMan tells me today I have deciphered some comments he has made lately incorrectly. But he won't tell me what they are. I HATE THAT. Monday he was supposed to come eat dinner - couldn't, worked late. Tuesday he was supposed to come eat dinner - couldn't, worked late. Ditto for tonight although he calls at 6:30PM and actually is off and on his way home. Personally, I figured if he wanted to eat with me, tonight would have been the night. Now, we have a date for Sunday so it's not that I won't see him; I just don't understand why he hasn't been over (well, I do for Mon and Tues night).

All I can think to do is not ask him to dinner during the week anymore. I mean, why bother? I am going on the assumption that I'll see him on weekends and that's it. Now, that is fine but if that is what he wants, why doesn't he tell me instead of making plans that he cancels? He always calls while he's working late but I just don't understand.

Anywho, next week I start a training class to learn to teach illiterate adults to read and write. It's a 3 week training program and then for 6 months, 2 hours per week, I will tutor someone. I know that's a long commitment but I am hoping I get someone who really wants to learn and will let me teach them and that way, we both make a difference in each other's lives.

And I guess I'll plan some stuff for a couple of other nights and then if RMan asks, my answer will be, "got plans". I don't get it but I guess it's still a game, even at our age and I'll just have to play it.

SPEED BLOG!!

>still dating guy from first date although...he is a little older and had a long day at work today and boy was he grouchy on the phone. "so and so" wants me to do something with him; "so and so" wants me to do something with him, "now it ain't you" but everybody wants me to do something....hmmm..sure made me feel like it was me as well as everyone else.

>then he says his daughter (she's 19) got upset cuz she likes to eat w/ him on his birthday, just her and him and this year he is eating with me and they are eating Saturday night. i said change it but he said no, i'm eating with you on on my birthday. great, haven't met the daughter but i bet i'm high on her list. NOT. i told him he could back out on Sunday if he wants too but he said no. good thing cuz had he said okay, i was not going out w/ him again.

>my boss at work is teasing me cuz one of his friends (a mighty cute one, i might add) always flirts with me on the phone when he calls my boss. trust me, the age difference is too much (i am let's just say a "little" older) but he is a cute guy. always nice when a young, cute guy thinks you're a babe.

time files....

Time just flies when you are having fun. I had the best time yesterday. It was a first date and I wasn't nervous but I was wondering what the day would be like. We went to eat, then rode around and talked (one of my two favorite things to do), got a movie and brought it home and watched it.

It was "The Bee" w/ Jerry Seinfeld and others and is the cutest movie. I already had at home "Over the Hedge" which is so so funny and so we watched it next.

I am glad it went well andwe had a good time. I hope we can do something again!

I LOVE SATURDAYS!

I love Saturdays! Out in the country you wake up to hearing the birds singing and the neighbors cows and horses. It's awesome! When I was married, my (now ex) husband, every Friday night, wanted a list of what I planned to do on Saturday. He never got it - it was simply a control mechanism on his part.

Saturdays, even when growing up, was the one day I could do anything I wanted. Mon - Fri I went to school, came home and did homework and my chores. But Saturday Mother always let us sleep late and goof off. It's one of my favorite childhood memories.

So now - I treat myself. Sure, I end up doing laundry and cleaning and doing the dishes but I guess it's just having the freedom to NOT do it that makes me so happy. Nobody yelling at me cuz I'm not working every single minute of my off day - awesome! I wake up and just listen for a few minutes to the birds. I say a prayer of thanks for the blessings God has given me. Despite the family illnesses, we are still all blessed. Each of us in our own way.

I talked to my brother-in-law the other night and he said, "I don't want to die." I said, "I know. But what I want you think about is if you do have your homecoming, you are going to meet Moses, Elijah, Adam, not to mention our Creator and the one who gave His all so we might live." I said,"think about how awesome that will be to sit at the feet of Peter and Paul." I told him I wasn't saying "give up" but trying to say that if our God counts the number of hairs on our head and knows when a sparrow falls from the sky, then we must trust He knows what's going on now and somehow get through it.

It's been a tough week - for sure. My friend Susie's fiancee killed himself this week. They were high school sweethearts and at the ripe young age of 54, had just found each other again. But apparently Buddy had some deep emotional insecurities and a darkness that not even Susie could reach.

It's been a tough week. My prayer is that we ALL have a better week this coming up week!

I need an angel to come whisper in my ear and tell me everything will be okay. Yesterday, we found my sister's husband also has lung cancer. My sister has stage iii but so far it hasn't metastised to any other place. Her husband, my brother-in-law, has stage iv lung cancer. He has two spots in his right lung, a mass on his spine, it's in his descending aorta, his sternum, his spleen and his stomach. You'd never know it to look at him. He looks healthy and strong.

Wow, I am in such shock. I feel drained and depressed and just want to crawl into my bed, put the blanket over my head and sleep...but I can't. Life goes on, so I have to go work every day, help my 14 year old son work through all of this (these are the aunt and uncle he is closest to) and help one of my nephews who is in a verbally abusive/emotionally depleted, co-dependent marriage and can't find the energy or strength to leave and now BOTH his parents have a terminal illness.

You blink and your life changes, for sure.

That is what my body keeps asking me! What are you feeding me? I finally decided to get busy and lose the last few pounds I need to lose. "Why?" you may be asking me (mentally, of course cuz if you're asking me out loud, I can't hear you). Hmmm....

Let's start with those nagging weight loss commercials that are driving me nuts. What's up with, "I went from a size 14 to a size 2. I'm no longer fat!" HELLO! I AM a size 14, thank you.

Of course, the doctor saying, "do you want to get busy and finish your weight loss?" prompted me as well. I have to have hernia repair surgery this summer and if I get the rest of my weight off, he's gonna do a tummy tuck while he's repairing the hernia. I know they say to give yourself rewards for losing weight so I'm all for this. (Of course, my idea of a reward is more like vanilla ice cream being licked off my toes by George Clooney, Oh, sorry; ignore that last part. Once I typed the words "vanilla ice cream" I lost all common sense...sigh). You'd think IF the doc would just go ahead and do the tummy tuck, I might not need the weight loss but then he babbles on about blood pressure, cholesterol...(yawn) but I tuned in when the mean ole man said, "no weight loss, no free tummy tuck." Hmm, and men say WE are difficult!

So..off I go. and so far I've lost 5 pounds. But still, when I look down at my dinner plate, I sure do relate to what Cookie Monster is saying....

This pic cracks me up. If it were a red-haired woman instead of a dog, it would look just like my friend V's pic on the firm's website. She was a little, um, pissed that we have to had our pics made for the firm Intranet so she gave exactly this smile! I plan to email it to her eventually - after she has recovered from being so mad that we had to do pictures.

I don't know why I keep posting when noone is reading but hey - maybe one day somebody will accidentally stumble across this blog and read it?!

This was me yesterday. Work was so stressful - get this motion out, get ths discovery done, get these letters faxed. What? I want to eat lunch? How dareI? I have been there for 7 months and yesterday, I just had myself a little "moment". Let's face it - sometimes in life, you just lose your cool and make an ass of YOURSELF and yesterday was my turn....I NEED SOME MERLOT!!

When it rains...

it pours, doesn't it?! First of all, SDS who places in the top 5% in the nation on his SAT scores, has a "D", almost an "F", in Science. He hates the class and says he has no friends in that class. I told him to "man up" and bring that grade up. This Saturday, instead of our moving in the new living room furniture, SDS will be in school 9am - 3pm, making up work to bring that grade up.

My oldest sister gets tested tomorrow to find out if she has a secondary cancer. She has lung cancer, has had her surgery and right when they were going to start chemo, they had to postpone it while they run the tests tomorrow to make sure there's not another form that she has IN ADDITION to the lung cancer.

The guy I was dating off/on, nothing too serious but we got along great and had so much fun, is now in Afghanistan for 18 to 24 months. So, we went back to "friends" status, I mean, what choice do you have, right? And I'm back to square one - nobody to watch basketball with me or grill out or drink margaritas. It bites.

Well, things are bound to look up soon.

This is my son - SDS. He's 14. He says, "it isn't cool" to smile in photos. It's like a flashback to the old pics of my mother I have. I, of course, being the Mom, prefer a smile! This is the new haircut he got on Saturday. A nice compromise, I thought. He didn't want a haircut so I said how' bout keeping it long in the front and (as per school policy) short and off the collar in the back. So, this is what we wound up with.

I like guys that have that layered look in their hair but so far, SDS has not gone for this look. Hmm, maybe it is for "old folks" but it looks good on guys.

I had the funniest dream last night and have no idea why! Remember the Osmonds? Oh my, I dreamed Wayne Osmond was getting married - the funny thing is he had curly hair but with bald spots! And the woman he was marrying had tatoos all over both shoulders. How hysterical is that? And why the hell is Wayne Osmond in my dreams???

This is the tapestry I bought to hang over an antique buffet someone gave me. It's a "Lena Lui" and I am always drawn to her work because she uses alot of florals. And, of course, I think I should own any and everything with roses on it! I want to find a "bubble lamp" with roses on it to also set on top of the buffet. So far, the prices have been too high and I had to quit E-Bay. Some folks gamble - I spent way too much on E-Bay! So I closed the account and just "walked away." Now, if I could just learn to push away vanilla ice cream!

The Move

I hope to get some pictures up soon. Right outside the front door, well, NOT right outside but a few hundred yards away, is a train track. The train comes twice a day - once at suppertime and once during the night when I am long sawing logs and never hear it. It only takes a minute to two minutes for the evening train to go by so I do my best to ignore it and/or just wait...

When you step out the back door, into the backyard, the neighbors have horses and cows grazing in the big pasture behind me! Unreal! Soon, I'll add a dog to the backyard so let's hope "we can all just get along."

Just down the road is Bayview Lake. A large lake I had heard of but never seen before. There are rumors that at Halloween, at midnight, the souls of all those who have died from boating accidents or committed suicide by jumping into the river, can be seen hovering over the water. Now me - I don't go for such nonsense. But you know what? You WILL NOT find me driving over the bridge at midnight on Halloween - no siree!